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Joke of the Day!

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for my brother; he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one."

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Aisos School of Sex - School set to take sex to a higher level

By Errol Nazareth, QMI Agency

 
A school in Austria promising to "teach the art of giving and receiving sexual pleasure" opens its doors next January.
 
"Sexual positions, caressing techniques, anatomical features -- these are the AISOS (Austrian International School of Sex) disciplines," says the school's website. "And we teach you hands on."
 
Anatomical features?
 
That's not the only question we have about this venture.
 
How do students get graded? What are the qualifications of the instructors? What if you fail a test? Are there group activities? Oral presentations?

The school's site fails to answer these.

In fact, it makes one ask more questions.
 
Like, why does the site feature photos of a chandelier, a plastic Barbie with a plastic baby in its tummy, a flight of steps, and a flower pot hanging from a ceiling?
 
AISOS boasts that classes will take place in an 18th century mansion on an estate "hidden deep within the expanses of lush greenery" outside Vienna. We're assuming this will help cut down on noise complaints.
 
If you need further incentive to register, here's the school's headmistress Ylva-Maria Thompson.
 
"The estate was once owned by a French-Austrian nobleman, famous for his decadent parties. They say that an undisclosed love nest is hidden deep-down behind the wine cellars. It is said that you can still smell the scent of sex from within its walls."
 
There are five courses in the first semester and taking them will set you back nearly $2000.

Contraception, we're informed, is available at no extra cost.

                                        
  


http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2011/12/04/19066331.html

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Transgender woman arrested after injecting Fix-A-Flat into patient’s rear end

A transgender woman in South Florida faces charges of practicing cosmetic surgery without a license, after police say she injected an unwitting patient’s buttocks with a handful of unsafe substances, including tire mender Fix-A-Flat, NBC reported.

The botched butt implant sent the unidentified woman to the hospital, and landed Oneal Ron Morris, who is legally identified as a man, in cuffs.

Miami Gardens Police arrested Morris, 30, on Friday, following an investigation by the Florida Department of Health.

Sgt. William Bamford said the illegal procedure took place in May 2010, after the woman and Morris met to discuss details, according to ABC.

“They agreed on the price of $700 for the procedure, which was intended for cosmetic purposes,” he said.

The injection took place in a residential setting, where Morris shot a mix of cement, glue, mineral oil and tire sealant into the woman’s buttocks, ABC reported.

“[A] short time later, she develops very serious pains, abdomen, throughout her body,” Bamford told the network affiliate. “She knows something’s wrong.”

The woman rushed to Tampa General Hospital, where she was treated for infection and pneumonia, but would not divulge Morris’ name, according to the report.

Hospital officials contacted the Dept. of Health, but it took investigators months to track down Morris.

Police suspect there are other victims, and urge them to come forward.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/transgender-woman-arrested-injecting-fix-a-flat-patient-rear-article-1.980273#ixzz1eRngZUqu

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