Saturday, September 17, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Thats your excuse for speeding?
A police officer pulls Pete Wentzover for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something.
"Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?"
"Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it is a matter of life or death."
"Oh, really? How's that?"
"There's a naked woman waiting for me at home."
"I don't see how that is a matter of life or death."
"If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man."
"Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?"
"Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it is a matter of life or death."
"Oh, really? How's that?"
"There's a naked woman waiting for me at home."
"I don't see how that is a matter of life or death."
"If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man."
Masturbate while driving 60 mph
I take driving pretty seriously. It could because I'm a die hard car enthusiast who really enjoys every time I get into a car. I don't believe in distractions like cell phones, GPS, i-pod etc... I go fucking bonkers when people are dicking around with these misleading gadgets, when they should be watching road!!!
This young lady seems very distracted...
...and driving me bonkers, in a good way!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
2011 Nissan 370Z GT Edition (U.K)
The spirit of that pioneering ‘Z’ lives on in the latest 370Z. Like the 240Z, the 370 – launched in 2009 – is powered by a six-cylinder engine and provides genuine excitement thanks to its performance oriented rear-wheel drive chassis. Like its forebear, its name indicates the size of engine under the bonnet: the original had 2.4-litres while the 370′s V6 power pack displaces 3.7-litres.
But times change. Where the 240Z made do with 150bhp, the 370Z has more than double that, while 40 years of chassis development mean the latest version has levels of ride comfort, handling ability and safety that the original could only dream about.
And it’s just got better. The latest 370Z, the GT Edition, offers more for less. As well as 19inch RAYS forged alloy wheels in place of 18inch wheels, special body colours and unique GT stripes, the GT Edition actually costs less than the standard car.
As the name implies, the GT Edition highlights Nissan’s presence in GT racing on the world stage. As well as its continuing commitment to Super GT in Japan, Nissan has been one of the leading lights in the new GT1 World Championship, winning the prestigious Tourist Trophy in 2010 with the fearsome GT-R. The Nissan Z family has been a race winner in the FIA GT4 European Cup since its inception and competes annually in various 24 hour races – the highlight being the Nürburgring 24 hours.
The Nissan 370Z GT4 Cup race car has raced toe to toe against competition from Aston Martin, Porsche and BMW across Europe in the real world while it is also the racing gamers’ vehicle of choice in the virtual world.
An innovative link with Gran Turismo 5 game for PlayStation® 3 has seen cyber racers compete against each other to win a drive in a real 370Z GT4 cup car. The 2011 GT Academy series is about to start with on-line gamers ready to swap the virtual world for the real thing.
The best will become part of the Nissan GT Academy, a motor racing ladder that could take top drivers from local series through the European Blancpain Endurance series right the way to international GT1 World Championship.
The 370 GT Edition recognizes its heritage with a nod to the 1970s and the birth of the original Z car: special side stripes.
Grey ‘GT’ stripes running along the flanks of the car contrast with the each of the special edition’s three body colors – metallic black, pearl white and Black Rose, the latter shade exclusive to GT Edition. The exterior is set off by the standard 19inch RAYS forged alloy wheels, which are finished in a dramatic anthracite colour.
The GT Edition introduces a number of significant suspension and equipment improvements which have also been adopted by the standard Coupe. In deference to the higher average speeds routinely enjoyed in Europe, the changes have been engineered by technicians from Nissan Technical Center Europe (NTCE). The principal modification has been to re-tune the dampers to provide the ideal balance between ride comfort and high-speed handling.
Equipment changes include the arrival of a rear view parking camera as part of the Nissan Premium Connect satellite navigation option and the standard fitment of a tire pressure monitoring system. The advanced seven-speed automatic option now has a snow mode which, when applied, sets the car off in second gear and controls engine revs to prevent wheel spin on ice or snow. Refinement is enhanced by revisions to underbody insulation to reduce road noise.
Unchanged is the 370Z’s exceptional 3.7-liter V6 engine. A development of the unit that powered the 350Z, the all-alloy 24-valve twin cam not only develops more power and torque but is also more response, more refined and more fuel efficient.
The addition of VVEL (Variable Valve Event and Lift) technology helps deliver electrifying performance, the engine developing 328PS and an impressive 363Nm of torque. It is coupled to a short throw six-speed sports manual gearbox or a seven-speed automatic.
When in S-Mode, the manual transmission features Nissan’s Synchro Rev Control to ensures perfect rev matching when the driver is changing gear, delivering perfect ‘heel and toe’ changes every time.
Sensors on the clutch and on the gear lever itself monitor driver actions to blip the throttle on down shifts and maintain constant engine revs when changing up. As the sensors detect clutch pedal movement, the SRC system is primed, coming into operation when the gear lever is moved. By matching this information to vehicle speed, SRC knows whether the driver is slowing for a corner or changing up through the ‘box.
Downshift Rev Matching is a feature on the automatic gearbox, too, which also has Adaptive Shift Control which learns a driving style and adjust shift patterns accordingly.
The 370Z’s chassis is a car enthusiast’s dream: double wishbone front suspension and a multi-link rear end makes the most of Nissan’s agile FM (Front Midships) rear-drive platform.
With a shorter wheelbase, wider track and stiffer shell than its predecessor, the 370Z has starred on track as well as on road. The innovative GT Academy programme takes computer gamers who have become Gran Turismo experts on PlayStation 3 and turns them into real race drivers. Now in its third season, winners will again race for a place on the grid in a GT4 race prepared 370Z at the Dubai 24 hours in January 2012 and, perhaps, on to the GT pinnacle, GT1.
Be assured that this is the real thing. Inaugural GT Academy champion Lucas Ordoñez will race in the Le Mans 24 hours with a Nissan-powered Le Mans Prototype car. Ordonez said:
"The 370Z is an iconic sports car and the GT Edition underlines its appeal to enthusiasts everywhere,"
Nissan 370Z GT Edition in detail
3 for $10! What a deal!
Yep. The economy has gotten that bad, people have started selling children at the grocery store!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Jokes!!!
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."
Monday, September 12, 2011
Jokes!!!
Three people walked by a strip bar they walked in, the first guy licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on one side of her butt. The next guy also, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the other side of her butt. The third guy walks in takes out a credit card swipes it through her butt and takes the 200 dollars.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
A driver who was caught by a police speed camera fondling his female passengers breasts while cruising along at pace on a motorway could find himself in trouble with the authorities - for two reasons.
Speed demon Deng Jialin was so distracted by his groping antics that he forgot to check his speed - and was clocked driving at 92kmph (57mph) in an 80kmph (50mph) limit.
Deng appears to be causally holding the steering wheel of his silver Nissan X-Trail with his left hand and reaching across to caress the right boob of his female passenger.
He does seem to be keeping his eyes on the road, at least.
The incident happened while the pair were travelling along a stretch of highway in China.
The resulting image was later released to the local media by an unknown source, possibly working at the Mianyang traffic bureau.
After discovering the embarrassing image online, Deng contacted his local newspaper - claiming the image had been doctored using a computer and denied there was ever a female passenger present in the car.
It's not known whether Deng will be charged over the incident - however, we assume he won't be speeding, touching his passenger or picking his nose along that stretch of road anytime soon.
Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/874842-busted-driver-caught-fondling-passengers-breasts-by-traffic-speed-camera#ixzz1Xh6n8L9P
Deng appears to be causally holding the steering wheel of his silver Nissan X-Trail with his left hand and reaching across to caress the right boob of his female passenger.
He does seem to be keeping his eyes on the road, at least.
The incident happened while the pair were travelling along a stretch of highway in China.
The resulting image was later released to the local media by an unknown source, possibly working at the Mianyang traffic bureau.
After discovering the embarrassing image online, Deng contacted his local newspaper - claiming the image had been doctored using a computer and denied there was ever a female passenger present in the car.
It's not known whether Deng will be charged over the incident - however, we assume he won't be speeding, touching his passenger or picking his nose along that stretch of road anytime soon.
Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/874842-busted-driver-caught-fondling-passengers-breasts-by-traffic-speed-camera#ixzz1Xh6n8L9P
Jokes
Mrs. Jones goes to the doctor for a full medical.
After an hour or so, the doctor looks at Mrs. Jones and says the following: "Mrs. Jones, overall you are very healthy for a 45 year old. There is however, only one problem. You are 40 pounds overweight and bordering on obese. I would strongly suggest that you diet now to save any complications in later years."
She looks sternly at him and says, "I demand a second opinion".
"OK" he says, "you're fucking ugly as well!"
After an hour or so, the doctor looks at Mrs. Jones and says the following: "Mrs. Jones, overall you are very healthy for a 45 year old. There is however, only one problem. You are 40 pounds overweight and bordering on obese. I would strongly suggest that you diet now to save any complications in later years."
She looks sternly at him and says, "I demand a second opinion".
"OK" he says, "you're fucking ugly as well!"
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