Showing posts with label Funny :D. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny :D. Show all posts
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Man tries to use $1M bill at Wally World (Walmart)
By QMI Agency
The Winston-Salem Journal reports that Michael Anthony Fuller, 53, tried to pay his $476 bill at the Walmart in Lexington, N.C., with a cool million on Nov. 17.
He insisted the bill was real, but staff called police. In a warrant for Muller, cops said of the bill: "There is no such thing."
The largest bill in circulation in the U.S. is $100. There has never been a $1-million bill. In 1969, federal officials discontinued the use of $500, $1,000, $5,000 and $10,000 bills.
Cops later nabbed Fuller and charged him with attempting to obtain property by false pretence and uttering a forged instrument. He's due in court Tuesday.
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Tuesday, December 13, 2011
T.O. subway sex pair charged
By IAN ROBERTSON, QMI Agency
TORONTO -- A couple nabbed having sex on a moving TTC subway car gave a whole new meaning to the slogan "Ride the Rocket."
When the young man and woman began making love on a southbound University line coach around 2:30 p.m.
Sunday, a disgusted passenger pressed the yellow emergency strip. After the train's guard finished putting the brakes to their tryst, the apparently drunken pair moved onto the Spadina station platform and continued their randy ritual on the tile floor -- with the man's naked bottom and her naked legs caught on video by a passerby.
"They were on the subway train itself ... they were having intercourse," TTC spokesman Brad Ross said Monday. He said while such unwelcome activity may have occurred before, "this is the first report I've seen in the almost four years I've been here." Ross said activation of the emergency bar alerted the operator and a security supervisor.
On the hand-held video, which left nothing the couple was engaged in to the imagination, a man wearing a yellow vest with reflective white tape can be seen glancing their way then walking out of range beside the stopped train.
Ross said Toronto Police reached the platform, followed by a TTC supervisor and the copulating couple was arrested.
They were charged with being engaged in a lewd act.
"They appeared to be extremely intoxicated," Ross said. "I'm not sure if it was from alcohol or drugs."
Because of their drunken performance, he said police arranged for the pair to be taken to Mount Sinai for a checkup as a precaution.
Since children ride the subway, buses and streetcars, "that's why we took the action we did," Ross said. "We can't have people engaging in sexual activity on the subway system, buses or streetcars.
"It's a public system and the TTC carries 1.6 million people a day, from all ways of life, including children," he said. "No matter what your background is, it is not appropriate to have sex this way.
"I'd suggest to people if they are deeply in love, that they find a more appropriate venue," Ross said, adding booze "tends to loosen people's inhibitions."
Passengers aboard the stopped train were delayed for 14 minutes before it resumed service.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2011/12/12/19114481.html
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Jokes!!!
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation." "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on. "The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again." What was that for?" he complained. "Your dog called last night."
Monday, October 31, 2011
Drunk, topless woman, Erin B. Holdsworth arrested after leading police o...
Police say a nearly naked woman led officers on a car chase that reached speeds of 200 km/h before she finally surrendered. The chase happened along Route 422 in Bainbridge, just east of Cleveland, and only came to a stop when police laid spikes across the road to puncture her tires.
When police apprehended her, they discovered she was wearing nothing but a sheer bustier, a G-string and sneakers, the report said. She was cuffed and put in the back of a police car, where she allegedly hurled abuse at officers.
The whole thing was captured on surveillance video.
Erin Holdsworth, 28, was charged with drunk driving, fleeing and eluding, driving under a suspended licence, speeding and other offences
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Jokes!!!
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....and she's always sound asleep."
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....and she's always sound asleep."
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Jokes!!!
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem," she complained, "is that it wakes me up."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem," she complained, "is that it wakes me up."
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Jokes!!!
A teenager is walking downtown and a girl whispers to him, "Blowjob, five dollars". He gives her a strange look and keeps walking. Soon another girl does the same thing. Confused, he keeps walking. The first thing out of his mouth when he returned home was "Mom, what's a blowjob?". His mom replies "Five dollars, just like downtown!".
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