Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina.
He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge."
A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!"
She replies, "I lost it, honey."
A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?"
Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!"
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Man tries to use $1M bill at Wally World (Walmart)
By QMI Agency
The Winston-Salem Journal reports that Michael Anthony Fuller, 53, tried to pay his $476 bill at the Walmart in Lexington, N.C., with a cool million on Nov. 17.
He insisted the bill was real, but staff called police. In a warrant for Muller, cops said of the bill: "There is no such thing."
The largest bill in circulation in the U.S. is $100. There has never been a $1-million bill. In 1969, federal officials discontinued the use of $500, $1,000, $5,000 and $10,000 bills.
Cops later nabbed Fuller and charged him with attempting to obtain property by false pretence and uttering a forged instrument. He's due in court Tuesday.
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Friday, December 16, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
T.O. subway sex pair charged
By IAN ROBERTSON, QMI Agency
TORONTO -- A couple nabbed having sex on a moving TTC subway car gave a whole new meaning to the slogan "Ride the Rocket."
When the young man and woman began making love on a southbound University line coach around 2:30 p.m.
Sunday, a disgusted passenger pressed the yellow emergency strip. After the train's guard finished putting the brakes to their tryst, the apparently drunken pair moved onto the Spadina station platform and continued their randy ritual on the tile floor -- with the man's naked bottom and her naked legs caught on video by a passerby.
"They were on the subway train itself ... they were having intercourse," TTC spokesman Brad Ross said Monday. He said while such unwelcome activity may have occurred before, "this is the first report I've seen in the almost four years I've been here." Ross said activation of the emergency bar alerted the operator and a security supervisor.
On the hand-held video, which left nothing the couple was engaged in to the imagination, a man wearing a yellow vest with reflective white tape can be seen glancing their way then walking out of range beside the stopped train.
Ross said Toronto Police reached the platform, followed by a TTC supervisor and the copulating couple was arrested.
They were charged with being engaged in a lewd act.
"They appeared to be extremely intoxicated," Ross said. "I'm not sure if it was from alcohol or drugs."
Because of their drunken performance, he said police arranged for the pair to be taken to Mount Sinai for a checkup as a precaution.
Since children ride the subway, buses and streetcars, "that's why we took the action we did," Ross said. "We can't have people engaging in sexual activity on the subway system, buses or streetcars.
"It's a public system and the TTC carries 1.6 million people a day, from all ways of life, including children," he said. "No matter what your background is, it is not appropriate to have sex this way.
"I'd suggest to people if they are deeply in love, that they find a more appropriate venue," Ross said, adding booze "tends to loosen people's inhibitions."
Passengers aboard the stopped train were delayed for 14 minutes before it resumed service.
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2011/12/12/19114481.html
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